This article was contributed by Pink Moods.
How are you feeling?
Many a stereotype is bandied around about childfree women, and none of them seem to come close to resembling the truth. Being childfree can be a choice or not, it can be a blessing or not, it could mean anything and it does not make it right to judge a woman for it. The majority of opinion pieces and articles on childfree women are unhelpful and presumptuous. Not every childfree woman is looking for sympathy. Here are 10 reasons to be happy about being childfree.
Children have to be the first priority when you are a parent. Nothing else can come first. With children come the school run, holidays and the general caring and raising them to be adults! Apart from work, your time is yours. Use it to make the most of life. A woman’s life can be enriched by many things, such as travel, charity, hobbies and interests. Immersing yourself in all the things you want to do in life is how to truly live. Do not let naysayers get you down: live.
It is not fair to say children are a liability, but they are one extra thing to balance when working through your life admin. If you are childfree, life is not automatically easier, but you have less to compromise on. Less things suffer from being on the back burner, for example your finances or your fitness. The reason why you might not have time to do things is more because of other things you chose to commit to, rather than children, who you have to commit to.
If a friend calls you up to go for a quick drink, chances are you are more likely to accept than a mother. Your social life does not die out when you have children, but things have to be planned in advance. The childcare needs sorting (if they’re not coming with), the money to afford it might need saving depending on income, the day needs booking due to school terms… it’s a little more complicated. The freedom of flexibility can be seriously helpful, not just for your social life, but if changing jobs or in emergencies. You can be there for someone when others cannot and make serious life changing decisions a lot quicker, and that is something to value about yourself.
Early rises and late bedtimes, the fear of being caught in the act, and just generally being rushed off your feet – intimacy does not always come easy to new parents. We all get busy, but without children it is a lot easer to find time to… well, get busy.
If a mother does not find the time to give herself a pamper or makeover, she can be easily forgiven. Children can be messy, take all your energy and distract you from fashion magazines and clothes shopping. Having more time to put on make up, give yourself foot spas and collate a sharp wardrobe can be one of life’s big pleasures. Self-love is something to enjoy and celebrate.
If you have a partner, you can listen to how their day went, you talk to each other about random topics and generally value each other. It’s a different type of value when you are parents, and it can also be a strain. Understandably, caring about each other sometimes gets translated through caring about the children, but sometimes we want to be cared about as individuals. When childfree, this can be a blessing.
One of the biggest myths you have to bust as someone who is childfree is that you are bad with children, and it is annoying. Being the professional aunt of the family and your friendship circle is a valued position. You can share the joy of children and help out mothers when they need it. You can spoil the little ones rotten. You can live fulfilled with the kids around you without needing any of your own.
Working hard for a living is hard enough, so more mouths to feed will drain the funds just that little bit more. Your money is your money and even when the rainy days come, at least you only have yourself to worry about and can build yourself back up. On the other hand, whenever the bonuses come through you can afford the things you need or want doing without having to think about much else, such as home repairs and replacements.
Sometimes in life we come to a crossroads and have more daring options open to us. They become less appealing choices if at the expense of a settled family. If the opportunity arises to move abroad, to change career or to work towards a dream project, you are allowed to be consumed by the excitement of it a little more.
Too often we use children to define the lives of women, whether childfree or mothers. The happiness in your life should not rest in your fertility. Love yourself for the person you are and be happy about it.
Photo Credit: Copyright: chalabala / 123RF Stock Photo
This article was contributed by Pink Moods.