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21 ways to have positive self talk


Taking control of your inner voice is harder than it sounds. If you have a tendency to talk yourself down and be negative, it stems from negative feelings you have towards yourself, be it anxiety or a low self-esteem. [Low self-esteem: Stop putting yourself down] In learning to have positive self talk, you must learn to be genuinely positive and kind towards yourself. Here are 21 ways to encourage positive self talk:

1) Surround yourself with positive people.

You are influenced by social factors a lot more than you consciously realise. If you are around people who adopt a more pessimistic outlook to life, you will develop it over time. Be around people who see the glass as half full. [The key behavioural traits of positive women]

2) Meditate.

Take the time to slow down and consider life from a calmer perspective. Meditation also helps you focus on the present moment and not be negative about the past or future, points in time which you have no control over. [The benefits of living a mindful life]

3) Talk to yourself the way you would talk to somebody else.

You wouldn’t openly insult others, make other people doubt themselves or be cruel in any way, so don’t do these things to yourself.

4) Don’t take a victim mentality.

Recognise that you have a choice and a power in your life to make things great. Stay positive and proactive when facing situations that seem impossible to take control of or overcome. Whether you need more patience to do it than you’re used to having, you can do it.

5) Don’t take a culprit mentality.

Guilt is an emotion for recognising your responsibility, but don’t hold onto it for too long. [10 reasons why guilt is a wasted emotion] You will start to get trapped inside your own head and stop being proactive. Instead of berating yourself for your faults and mistakes, remind yourself of what you learned from them.

6) Help somebody.

The self-gratification that comes from helping others is natural and automatic. Contributing happiness to others’ lives is where you find ultimate purpose, whether it directly impacts your life or not. The negative voice thrives on inaction, so don’t be afraid to act.

7) Let go of perfection.

Doing something wrong doesn’t necessarily mean you should never do it again. In fact it can mean the opposite, because you will do it better next time. Make peace with the fact that the ideal never happens when you want it to in reality, and take fuel away from your negative voice. [How to challenge your negative voice]

8) Focus on the present moment.

Negativity can take over when you are overwhelmed by tasks ahead of you. Only now is real. The future hasn’t happened and the past no longer exists. If you focus on now and what you can do now, you naturally feel more capable and act more positively.

9) Remember what you are grateful for.

Gratitude lists [Why you should write a gratitude list] are a great way of realigning your perspective and reminding you what you have in life to be positive about.

10) Smile.

Present yourself as a positive person in image, and it attracts positivity to your life. Even if you have to initially fake it, the response you get from a positive image will eventually make you feel positive.

11) Relax.

If your energy levels are low or you aren’t rested enough, you won’t be in the right frame of mind to be positive. Negativity feeds on fatigue and generally ill health. Remember to relax in life. [A checklist for chilling out & enjoying life]

12) Do something fun.

If there are certain situations in your life currently that you are struggling to feel positive about, don’t punish yourself permanently by constantly thinking about them. Do something fun, even if only for half an hour, to distract yourself. You have permission to not be serious all of the time.

13) Turn off your phone.

Surrounding yourself with social media and not actually being social can depress you, making you become more inward and self-conscious. Step away from the virtual world and go outside for some respite.

14) Get inspired by somebody.

A great way to get in a positive mindset is to get inspired by somebody who overcame negativity. Reading or watching someone overcome hardship reinforces that you can too.

15) Take responsibility.

You negative voice belongs to you, so take ownership of it and realise you’re the architect of your own misery. Ironically, by blaming yourself for your negative thinking, you become happier when you realise nothing else is causing your negative voice to exist. [21 things you need to do to avoid negative thoughts]

16) Laugh.

The physical act of laughing is proven to make people happier and release endorphins. When you feel naturally happy and humoured, it’s difficult to think negatively.

17) Tick things off the list.

Create purpose for every day with a list of tasks that need to be done. The more you tick off and achieve, the more accomplished you feel.[Join and access our planners, checklists and digital organisers]

18) Find the silver lining in a bad situation.

Optimism is the child of positivity. Being able to see the good in the bad is a productive skill that can eventually silence negative talk permanently, and is worth learning.

19) Avoid pointless conflict.

Discussion and debate has its place, but if an argument is lingering that annoys you or is causing you to become angry and upset, leave it.

20) Look after yourself.

Get enough sleep every night and eat healthier. Dips in energy and being tired makes it easier to be negative. [8 habits of the sleep deprived]

21) Learn to identify negative self talk.

Take note and recognise when you are being negative, how you are negative, and why. You’ll find there is a specific reason and trigger for different types of negative talk, and the more prepared you are for them, the easier it will be to silence it.

Negative self talk will always make dealing with your day-to-day tasks and situations that little bit more difficult than needs be. By really putting in the effort to stay positive and be positive with yourself, you can make life that little bit easier. For daily motivation and pick-me-up videos, ebooks, planners, checklists, visualisation tools and communities join our empowering club today.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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