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7 reasons our culture could be to blame for sexless marriages


With increasing exposure to sexpert culture, couples of the modern age are developing a ‘normal’ anxiety. How much sex should we be having? Can we consider ourselves to be having a sexless marriage? Are we normal? In truth, one size never fits all. If you fit in the bracket of people who have sex in low frequency – at most once a month – then modern life can offer some explanations. Whether these are warning signs is up to you – it’s your sex life and you happiness. Don’t let others tell you to worry if it doesn’t worry you our your partner.

“I could have sex with anyone, but I really like you”

The attitude that sex is an easy thing to find if you want it means relationships have been made redundant for that purpose. A relationship needs more than sex to survive, and sometimes we do appreciate spending time with our partners because we like them as people too.

“Everyone thinks you have to have crazy sex, but that’s not the case”

Modern culture has a reputation for encouraging more experimental sexual experiences. This stereotype might put off some couples, who find comfort in a more regular, normal sex life. Feeling overexposed to the idea you need crazy sex might mean you’ve gravitated away from a need for sex.

“The ‘Video Games’ effect”

Lana Del Rey famously sang a paean to a lover who may not be classically appealing. We imagine relationships with too much of a romantic view, and forget the ordinary parts, including playing video games. With the increasing development of entertainment systems, appealing to the adult’s inner child, we forget our more adult urges and we can fall into sexless marriage patterns.

“We’re spending longer trying to make kids not happen”

The average age for marrying and starting a family is getting older, and due to the increased time period in an adult’s life trying to prevent pregnancy, sometimes abstinence prevails over contraception.

“It’s better than the real thing”

The increase in the popularity of porn, due to the unlimited access and variety you have available thanks to the internet, takes our attention and libidos with it. We can get our kicks out of watching professionals and the need to repeat the performance is curbed.

“I’m worrying too much to relax”

The stress of modern life is measurable – we work longer hours, our retirement age gets older, our commutes extended, our wages less than satisfying – and it does nothing for our bodies. Ill with worry, we are too distracted by our troubles to enjoy sex and our sexless marriages can become commonplace as a result.

“We’re distracted by the smartphones, its starts with a tweet, then another, then your boss is on Facebook with something urgent…”

Social media and the instant gratification it brings, much more instant than other pleasures (shall we say), is addictive. It also has a domino effect. As soon as you start communicating, you attract more interacton. It is easy to waste the hours away talking online.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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