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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

7 tips for starting over from a break up.


Starting over after a breakup or divorce can often make us feel like a child again, stepping into the absolute unknown. But if possible, trying to see it as a chance to open you up to new opportunities and perspectives can help bring some positivity to the situation. Here are 7 tips to starting over.

Re-do your regrets

We all have regrets, yet we think we never will have the opportunity to go back on them. After divorce, you will find the freedom you once had, and also the ability, to do the things you always wanted to. For example, if you wished for a certain career, or wanted to live somewhere exotic, it is now the time to go for it. Why not see what path you might be taken down once you do follow your dreams? It could help distract you from what has happened, and push you into the future.

Enjoy friendships

There is no time better, than after divorce to rekindle and enjoy your friendships. [7 ways friendships can help build your confidence] Whether it’s single friends, married friends or new friends- enjoy the new way you can embrace your relationships with others, and fill your time with their company. You never know who will come out of the woodwork to support you, and you will truly feel loved when those close to you are able to show their support.

Try something new

There are so many things you can try out to take your mind off the upsetting process of divorce. It could be through fun exercise classes, or joining groups. But finding your source of comfort is extremely important so that when things get tough you have a ‘go to’ that’s relieves your stress. [How to manage the root cause of stress]

Have some time

Having the support of another person in your life becomes so integrated, that without it we feel as though we can’t cope. We have been independent before and we can do it again. But rushing to look for a follow up relationship never gives us that opportunity to learn how we can be strong alone, and therefore it’s important for us to take the time to build ourselves back up. Eventually, when we are ready for a new relationship, we will be back to our whole selves again. [A checklist for chilling out and enjoying life]

Refresh your life

When we are starting over it is helpful to make some physical changes to ourselves or our surroundings to symbolise our new beginnings and say goodbye to our old selves. Anything new like a haircut, makeover or redecorating can help turn the experience into a new and exciting chapter of life. Preserving all the memories stops us from being able to look forward and causes the process to be much more painful. Showing a bit of strength will be extremely helpful in the long run.

Do what makes you happy

It’s all about you now, so that means doing whatever you want to make you happy. Eat chocolate, book a holiday – the only way to deal with sadness is to do things that make you happier and if now is not the time, then when is? [The habits of happy people]

Don’t bottle things up

The worst thing that you can do when going through the emotions associated with a breakup or divorce is to bottle up your feelings. [5 ways to manage your emotions during a divorce] Repression does not mean that they go away, you’ve just pushed them down, but eventually they will rear back up again and they could present in a more uncontrollable manner. Constantly acknowledge your emotions as they come and understand their purpose, that will allow you to move forward and day-by-day you will feel that little bit better.

For advice and strategies on how to manage a divorce or breakup and how to start to move on to the next chapter of your life watch our Video Moods series or download our happiness or confidence planner as a daily strategy and reminder to help lift your spirits during this changing and challenging time.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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