This article was contributed by Pink Moods.
How are you feeling?
There are many different reasons behind people’s anger, some of them deep-rooted, or irrational, or related to a medical issue. Some people’s style of anger can differ greatly, from the quiet sort who bottle it up, to the aggressive sort who need to make a big impact. Either way, one truth remains: anger is reactionary. We feel it on impulse without deciding to or wanting to and we could all use help in managing its expression.
Here are some anger management techniques to use in between feeling the emotion and expressing what you want other people to understand about your anger.
What changes in you physically when you are angry? Do you get nervous sensations? Do you immediately seize up and make aggressive gestures? Does your throat close up until you feel close to crying?
Whilst common sense might dictate that you should try and repress these reactions, it’s best for you to really focus on the physical sensation to distract you from the emotion of anger itself. This doesn’t mean to follow through with any physical reaction, but to instead thoroughly feel the energy running through your body to channel it away from anger itself. It might be helpful to have a soft object handy to squeeze or explode into.
After working out the physical tension, stop and think. Keep calm, take deep breaths and articulate into words why you are angry. Write those thoughts down onto paper then place them in a jar. This forces you to properly explain your anger logically, and therefore can eliminate any false or negative thinking your mind goes through. It also psychologically helps you to let go of the problem. Save these thoughts in a jar and return to them after some time has passed to test if the problem is still as significant as you thought it was.
Shouting is good for helping the body through physical pain, but that’s all it’s good for. If you’re angry, shouting is the worst base reaction. It’s immediate and can have a direct effect on others as much as physical violence. The point of anger management is to take control of how you express anger [Mantras to follow when you're feeling mad with someone], not necessarily how you feel or why you feel that way. Shouting is an expression, your words can still have power and meaning without it. If you want to try some other simple techniques for managing anger and other emotions, subscribe to watch our Video Moods sessions.
Create a space you can retreat to where your anger can’t bother you. It has to be somewhere calming that doesn’t remind you of what made you angry. You can decorate and boost this space by adding useful distractions, such as art or pictures of happy memories, a television with your favourite films to watch, and some soft furnishing. If you can do this in moderation, and only if you can, maybe keep a stock of favourite foods or a set of calming teas.
Aggression is great for improving physical performance when exercising. If you don’t think you can take out your anger with someone in an appropriate way, working out the aggression and loading your energy into exercise is probably the best idea. If you’re a gym member, go as soon as you can. If not, you can always go a run or a walk. Focus the aggression and not the anger itself into your performance and aim to do the best you can. A good, upbeat playlist can help boost you even further.
Sometimes we need a little extra help in going through our thought processes and identifying root causes as to why we get angry and how we deal with it. Trained counsellors are available in public and private practices. Don’t assume that visiting a counsellor means you’re weak or that there’s something wrong with you. We all have various troubles across the courses of our lives with our mentalities, for different reasons and of different intensities. By visiting a counsellor, you can train yourself to recognise negative thought patterns associated with anger and techniques in handling them. It’s better to be proactive than to not solve the problem at all.
Anger management is precisely as it is named. It doesn’t aim to rid you of anger or make you feel ashamed about getting angry. It helps you understand the different forms of anger, why you get angry and the most helpful ways to express it. In truth, we all need to learn to manage our anger one way or another. Any step you take to managing yours better is worth being proud of.
Photo Credit: Copyright: wanatithan / 123RF Stock Photo
This article was contributed by Pink Moods.