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Challenge your Mindset

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Top tips to comfort others


When we are comforting others, sometimes what we think is being helpful can actually be counterproductive. As much as we might like to run over to our friends with a bottle of wine or provide them with a short lived distraction, it might not always help comfort them in the long run. Following these short easy tips can help you comfort others in a way that is productive and lasts in the long term.

Tip 1: Make your support known

The first thing you can do when comforting others is to make it known that you are there to support them. This can be a text, phone call or visit that lets them know that if they need you, you are there for them. As many of us are when we are upset, we only want to talk about it when we feel like it. Just because they may not want to talk straight away, doesn’t mean that they don’t acknowledge your support.

Tip 2: Give practical help

Make sure that the comfort you offer them is productive in helping them feel better. Are they physically looking after themselves and eating and sleeping properly? Look out for the things they might overlook and offer sensitive but productive advice to help them move forward in feeling better. This might be offering various solutions to the problem they are facing and helping them make decisions that they are struggling with. If you need advice on how to do this, visit our community where a network of supportive women can help advise you on how best to handle the situation to benefit your friend.

Tip 3: Listen

Most importantly, just listen. Even sharing a problem is therapeutic and comforting in getting over it, and a problem doesn’t always need a solution, just the relief that you are not alone. Actually listen to how your friend is feeling and respond with ways they can improve that feeling in order to provide the best comfort you can. Voicing your opinions and own experiences isn’t always helpful in making them feel better and so it’s important to know when they need you to speak and when they don’t!

Tip 4: Be a source of positivity

Don’t let unhappiness be the theme of every conversation between you and your friend. When there is a chance they could be distracted from it then let them be, as the topic of conversation doesn’t always have to be an intense analysis of why they may be feeling unhappy. Comforting them means giving them the opportunity to feel happier [How to feel happier today…] if they can, whether that be through getting out of the house or having a laugh together. The more and more these positive experiences happen the quicker you can see them recovering.

Tip 5: Don’t overwhelm them

When comforting others you don’t need to do everything you can think of at once; instead of comforting them this will have the opposite effect and cause them to be more reclusive. Even someone’s company can be comforting without even speaking, and demonstrates that comforting someone is about the little things not the grand gestures to try and prove you support them. If someone is feeling sensitive you have to handle them sensitively; they will be grateful that you are taking the time out to support them at all.

Comforting others is easier said than done and no two people will be the same in the way they need support. That’s why the best thing you can do is to listen and respond to their individual needs!


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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