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Challenge your Mindset

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Empowering Yourself


Empowering women are out there, but more and more I observe in my counselling rooms and society in general, that women can give themselves a hard time. Whether you’re too fat, thin, stupid or ugly, the lists go on and on. Deep down many women can have feelings of low self-esteem, depression and devalue their role in their own lives. Of course this is not always the case, I can think of many empowered women, who took charge of their own destiny, and have achieved amazing success. Is this just for the chosen few or can we all have a piece of the pie?

The role of attitudes in empowering yourself

I believe when looking at empowering yourself, you must first look at your own attitudes to what you believe to be true, whether it is about work, relationships or health. Our attitudes will have been established many years ago, with influences from our parents, teachers and who ever had an impact in our lives, to present day. Without realising it, we have taken many different views of the way things should be. As an adult it may be hard to differentiate between what we have been told and what we actually think. To truly empower yourself, you have to be totally honest and ask yourself what do you really want. How are you going to change your attitude to fit a new way of thinking? While this can take some time and energy I do believe if you want the change enough, you can make this happen. I have personally seen this many times with clients. Changing your mind is not like changing your outfit, it takes some confront, to accept there are other ways of thinking. Have you ever written down the positives or negatives of something? Well if you are not happy with something, why not write down different ways of looking at the situation.

Whatever the reason you don’t feel comfortable, you are entitled to change that. So often we might moan about a situation, but don’t do anything to about it, why not? Are we just afraid to rock the boat, maybe we are more scared of change then accepting how things are. While I understand that change can be scary, not always knowing the outcome, it can be liberating too!

By looking at your options, and giving your self-permission to allow yourself to think, and maybe act differently. What would it feel like if you didn’t feel scared/angry or frustrated? Could you let that go, and resolve how you are going to feel better, by changing your thinking? Allowing you to feel that you have more control over a situation, thus empowering yourself with more energy to achieve your goals.

Be empowered by yourself!

Stop comparing yourself to everyone else! When we compare ourselves to other people, we will always find fault with ourselves. I believe social media has a lot to play in this. People post things that they want you to hear, pictures, fun times, successes. They may not post rows with partners, or how much the kids are stressing them out. Remember you only view a part of their lives that they want to share, there is probably a lot more going on for that person that you don’t see. Concentrate on what is going on for you, and how you are going to make it better. Look at your achievements and be proud of what you have accomplished. Maybe set some goals you want to achieve. Instead of focusing on the negative, have fun with visualising all the things you want for your life in the Time Machine. This is your life story, it can go anyway you want it too. Don’t make yourself a victim of your life, that will only get you more of the same. If you have been thinking this way up until now and it is not working for you, maybe now is the time to look for another way.

If you don’t like where you are, there is nothing from stopping you from moving on, only YOU!


Beverley Sandler

The road that directed me to becoming a counsellor/therapist happened many years ago. I was lucky enough to discover my passion for supporting people, to empower themselves, to feel good and engage in a positive life style. My love of learning has led me to engage in many physiological courses over the years. All of which have enabled me to have a good understanding of how the mind works, and can help relieve and calm any given situation, thus allowing the client to release negative thoughts. I feel I have endless energy to propel myself forward, always looking at the glass half full, instead of half empty. Life I believe is meant to be enjoyed not endured! Looking at the joy we can achieve each day. I always practice an attitude of gratitude for all the things I have in my life. Qualifications include: Member of the BACP (British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy), 0CNW Young people’s counselling issue’s Level 2, Counselling Skill Level 2, Counselling Diploma Level 4, ABS Advanced Certificate of Therapeutic Hypnosis, Diploma in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, ABC Advanced Certificate in Therapeutic Hypnosis, Professional Development Inroads Training, Counselling victims with Stress and Anxiety, Professional Development Inroads Training, Counselling victims with Sexual abuse in Childhood, S.T.E.P.S. Personal Development Facilitator (The Pacific Institute), Certificate in Understanding Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Certificate level Nutritional Interventions for Eating Disorders, CBT Diploma (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), CBT Diploma Advance Level, NLP Certificate (Neuro Linguistic Programming), NLP Silver Member- Practitioner Coach.

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