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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

Going through a break up? 20 methods for letting go.


There are many theories about letting go and moving on from a relationship, but unfortunately one shoe doesn’t fit all. Everybody copes differently, and so different approaches are necessary. Here are 20 of the best ways for letting go of a past relationship:

Give yourself some time

Nobody expects you to be superwoman and dust yourself off straight away, so give yourself the time to mourn the relationship properly so that you aren’t masking your feelings, otherwise it could rear it’s head when you least expect it.

Live in the moment

The only way you can get on with your life is to live in the moment. Too much time reflecting on the past will only mean that you are letting other things slip. Give yourself the opportunity to move on by training your mind to avoid painful memories.[Mindfulness: the benefits of a mindful life]

Believe it can happen

Letting go of a past relationship means believing it can happen. If you can’t see that future for yourself then you won’t be able to move on. Have the self-belief that you will eventually be able to let go, and you will already be on your way to achieving it.

Don’t let the low moments consume you

The aftermath of a break up isn’t going to be a straight road to recovery, you have to prepare yourself for the days when you might take a step backwards, but know that you are making an overall movement towards feeling better. During those days of feeling stuck and being overwhelmed visit our Video Moods series for some useful action packed tips and strategies for letting go and building resilience.

Try something new

The ‘hole’ in your life created by the absence of the relationship can be filled with something completely new and refreshing. Don’t spend that time dwelling on what is not there but fill it with a fun distraction. You never know, it could aid the entire process.

Change your routine

The end of one thing in your life signifies the start of something else and that means reshuffling your routine to embrace this new change. This can stop you falling into patterns of negative thought, as your life won’t be such a strong reminder of what you once had.

Find an outlet

The sadness, anger or jealousy that you have felt needs to come out some how, so try releasing it in the best possible way. You owe it to yourself to not wallow in negative emotions so find an outlet that benefits you the most. Support is considered the most powerful way of helping prevent emotional problems, so for impartial and anonymous advice visit our community to speak to others who may have been in the same situation.

Cut ties

Remaining in contact can be one of the biggest culprits of a drawn out break up for so many reasons. Simply, how are you able to let go if you are still tied to the relationship? [The real reason that you are missing your past relationship]

Trust yourself

Trust that you have made the right decision and that you will be okay. This is the time where you have to be at your strongest, any self-doubt could impede the process.

Work on yourself

Being single is necessary for self-development. In this time we learn who we are, and develop our independence. Think of this time out of the relationship as a chance to focus on you. For some help with your process of self discovery visit this section of our site and download our reflective and insightful eBooks. 

Understand your feelings

Don’t bottle up your feelings, as they won’t disappear. You need to be able to accept your feelings and understand what they mean. Why do you feel angry? Why do you feel hopeless? The sooner we can identify with the process we are going through the easier we can manage it.[5 ways to manage your emotions during a divorce]

Focus on your friendships

Your friends are one of the biggest support networks you will need to let go of your relationship. So use your time to make the most of them, friends have a habit of making us laugh when we never thought it possible and so you can guarantee you will be in good hands.

Learn from the experience

Just because this relationship hasn’t worked out, it doesn’t mean that you are a failure. Everything we go through is a learning experience and we have to take what good we can find from that situation and leave behind the bad.

Be spontaneous

Embrace your new freedom and independence and put it to good use. You have the luxury of spontaneity so enjoy it!

Clear out

Get rid of any relationship memorabilia that reminds you of the past. Whilst it’s painful to get rid of memories, you can never truly let go until you let go of those memories too. To help you spring clean your house and your mind visit our planners and checklist sections to download some step by step checklists.

Treat yourself

You are going through a difficult time in your life so give yourself some treats to help you through it. Chocolate, girly films or a spa weekend. A bit of indulgence never hurt anyone.

Focus on your career

If there is anytime to throw yourself into your career it’s when you are going through a break up. Without anyone holding you back, and a distraction desperately needed; work can be a blessing in disguise. To discover your purpose download our expert guide including award winning advice for free here.


Just as you can focus on work, exercise is another great distraction that helps you work towards a future goal.

Move on

The true sign of letting go of an old relationship is letting a new one in. Putting trust into another is daunting, but when you feel ready to then you know the old relationship is in the past.

Be positive

Being positive underlies everything you do. Although you are likely to come face to face with many negative emotions that will make it harder to let go, if you are able to overcome them, then you can overcome this relationship.

Overall, trust in yourself that you will get through it. Remember it is not a race, daily changes, even slightly, mean that you are moving on to a new start and chance to build a new life for yourself, the old one didn’t work out for a reason and (although you may not believe it now) it is making space for a more honest and better life ahead.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.