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Challenge your Mindset

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How to Heal Your Self-Esteem


When challenging self-esteem, it is best to approach the mentality behind it. Whilst various daily situations and events can bring your low self-esteem to the forefront – be it the changing room mirror, an intimidating boss or looking after children – it is your thoughts and beliefs that cause it [Stop putting yourself down]. If you’re struggling to heal your self-esteem, look closely at the types of thinking you might unconsciously do, and work to adjust these processes for a more positive outlook.

All-or-nothing thinking

You have a finite way of approaching your life: if it isn’t done now or doesn’t work out successfully now, it can never happen or be done again. This thought process not only leaves you nervous and defeated, but exhausted.

How to solve it – TACKLE YOUR STRESS

We invent more pressured time scales for our lives when we are stressed. [How to manage the root causes of stress] Look at how efficient your daily routine is and see if there are ways to alleviate this pressure you feel in your mind. Make sure you have an organised run of events for the day to prevent rushing, and remember that ‘should’ and ‘must’ statements aren’t always accurately used. Be realistic about what you can fit in your day and how important some things are compared to others.

Jumping to conclusions

You tend to hold a pessimistic outlook on life and convince yourself this is a realistic approach. You always assume the worst outcome.

How to solve it – LISTEN

The worst part of pessimism is that it is often self-fulfilling. [The emotional economy: Reasons why we lose our self esteem] You are deciding to fail because the thought of it taints your actions. Instead of assuming a negative conclusion, listen closely to what people say and really think about what steps need to be taken to be successful in a task or situation. Often, you have misheard or misinterpreted what is required. Of course, you can’t escape criticism and failure all the time, but you can choose whether it is constructive or destructive.

Facts vs. feelings

We are clouded by ourselves. Our opinions, perspectives and emotions can get in the way of logical thinking, or stop us from seeing the facts.

How to solve it – DO A GOOD DEED

It is possible to combine facts and feelings, and it’s better for your self-esteem if they are positive. By being generous, kind and considerate, you can help someone out and get satisfaction in return. When you get approval from someone for your good deed, that confirms your good actions as fact, and results in you feeling good. A word of warning for this tip: save your good deeds for people you know and care about. Whilst helping strangers is admirable, it can lead you to depend on random gratification, which can have a negative effect on your self-esteem. [How self awareness can improve your relationships]

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Low self-esteem is often a product of overwhelming negative thought. It often works as a constant monologue, narrating your actions to you, but twisting and skewing them through a negative viewpoint. Cutting through something this powerful and affecting will take strength and patience, but it is more than possible. It isn’t a change that happens overnight. Work to get control back of your mind and your self-esteem will surely heal.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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