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Challenge your Mindset

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How to regain your confidence


Confidence can be a slippery character to keep hold of. Just when we think we have full confidence in ourselves and our lives, it can escape just as quickly and leave us in a self-conscious lurch. You can travel around all places to see where it’s hiding and seemingly get nowhere, but don’t lose hope. Losing – and regaining – confidence is incredibly common, so take comfort in the fact it can and will return to you eventually. Here’s how you can regain your confidence, starting from today.

Why we lose confidence

Your confidence in something can disappear because of a variety of triggers – an accident, a mental block, an illness – and the journey back can be long. Losing confidence is a side effect of how you react to that trigger, rather than the fault of the trigger itself. Over-thinking the consequences, and your role played in them, can cause you to become too reflective and inward. The more you overthink, the less you socially interact and feel comfortable, meaning your confidence continually lessens. Eventually, you start to avoid what triggered the loss or any reference to the trigger at all, retreating to a comfort zone. [Be brave! How to step out of your comfort zone]

Tips for regaining confidence

Get away from the status quo.

Take a holiday or sabbatical away from where the situation which triggered your drop in confidence took place or is associated with. This gives you the chance to refresh and refocus your perspective. Being in a different location – and most likely different people and different routine – can help you see your life with different eyes. Giving yourself that break from what is hurting your confidence gives you the chance to try again to rebuild it.

Start slow

Throwing yourself in at the deep end will bring out a natural resistance in you, and will discourage you from carrying on. Take small steps towards your previous confidence levels. This is especially important if you have lost confidence in something personal where a sensitive hand is appropriate, such as an ability or a relationship. You need to break down the essence of what has gone wrong and assess the ins and outs before rushing to fix it. [Looking for love? start with yourself]

How to build and maintain your confidence

Falling back into comfort zones is easily done. They are called comfort zones for a reason – they are places you design and build to feel your most confident. The problem is, they encourage confidence in an isolated setting. Try and bring your comfort zone everywhere you go. Share your feelings, passions and thoughts that normally stay within the walls of the comfort zone as much as you feasibly can – be it with friends, family, colleagues or strangers – to stop yourself from hiding away.

Confidence is about allowing yourself to be your most real and most genuine for most of the time. Building yourself up to wearing your true colours all the time is scary when you’ve had a knock-back, but you need to remember the confidence you once had and envision yourself reaching it again. If you had it once, you can have it again. Be kind to yourself and focus on what matters to you, and eventually you can regain your confidence. If you want to give your confidence a boost, join our empowering community with tools to help you to improve your confidence whenever you need it.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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