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Challenge your Mindset

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How to Stop Being Insecure

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“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel” - Steve Furtick, American pastor

Insecurity can be something we battle with in our lives at different points for different reasons. Some people don’t feel good enough for their partners and fear they will stray, others are never satisfied with how they look and worry about how other people perceive them, and others aren’t confident enough in their personalities to think they’ll make a good impression to others. It all boils down to assumptions.

We assume the thoughts of others and give them life and meaning, believing that they’re real when in reality we made them up ourselves. Our own negative self-talk talks us into shying away due to low self-esteem for guidance visit our Video Moods section. Don’t worry you can, overcome this!

1) Ignore your negative voice

Your negative voice isn’t really you. It’s an accumulation of negative comments and presumptions [The reasons that you should avoid these negative words] – maybe not even directed at you – that you have held onto. Whatever your negative voice says, it is often incorrect or no evidenced enough to be considered a fact. You’re just as capable of thinking positively [7 ways to train your brain to be positive], so listen to your positive voice. Be optimistic.

2) Don’t think too much

You can talk yourself in and out of anything if you over-think [5 methods to stop overthinking], to the point of going in circles. Do what you want without fear because you can only live for you and you truly have no idea how well or badly it is going to go. Trial and error is a fact of life, and perfectionism is not only a lie, but it is boring! Optimism is the attitude that makes you try and opens doors. If you need some tips on how to think more positively, visit our Video Moods series today.

3) Block criticism, accept praise

Be confident enough to take compliments. You’re smart enough to know when praise is genuine and helpful, and also when criticism is disparaging and contains nothing for you to learn from. If what someone has to say has nothing of value and is just a barrel of insults, they are simply just words. They have no true meaning in them. If you believe them, you are reinforcing the authority of anything negative that has ever been said to you.

Opinions aren’t facts and if anyone has ever said anything hurtful to you, that makes them a bad person, not you. The often quoted Eleanor Roosevelt quote “nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent” is very true in this situation. If it helps, don’t invite any sort of comment about anything. Don’t ask for anyone’s opinion to avoid them. That means if anyone does comment, it’s more likely to be positive.

4) Be realistic

Realism doesn’t just apply to knowing your limits, but also knowing the limits of others. The opening quote demonstrates how you only know what you know from your point of view. This is a vital point to acknowledge if your insecurity stems from a relationship. Seeing the best in everyone is a great quality, but don’t compare their best to your everything in-between. It makes you insecure because their worst sides haven’t been seen by you (and trust that absolutely everyone has a worst side).

Be realistic in your comparisons to others, because you’re more than likely being biased against yourself and not being fair to your good attributes. Listen to friends, family and partners about their own insecurities and communicate openly, or risk driving them away.

Whenever you doubt yourself, stop and think. Why do you feel insecure? Has anyone ever given you a reason to be insecure? If they have, what gave them the right? Does it relate to the situation you’re in now?

You have power over what you believe, what advice you take and how much you value the opinions of others. If everyone lived how they wanted to without fear of others’ opinions, everyone would be much happier. This life was made for you; live it.

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This article was contributed by Pink Moods.