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How to use your internal voice to amplify your happiness


It’s frustrating when dealing with a negative internal voice. Although you created it, it is for some reason harder to stop than it should be. Life is full of ups and downs – moments that make us sad and happy – yet the sad moments always hit harder, amplified by a low self-esteem and a need to put ourselves down.

All is not lost however, though it can feel like it. You can change the dialogue when you get to the root of why your internal voice says what it does. Instead of amplifying negative emotions, here’s how to use your internal voice to amplify your happiness:

Where did your internal voice come from?

The concept of an internal voice is not something you are born with. As a child, you don’t innately have the knowledge to know when you do something wrong or haven’t been good enough, because you haven’t defined those parameters yet. You learn to be negative as you learn about life.

Your internal voice is developed from habits and codes of behaviour that you pick up from others. You begin to fall in line with society, which is fine in itself, but this need to fit in can go into overdrive. [Why you should always be your unique self] 

What do you use your voice for?

When your social awareness kicks in, you develop a self-esteem – a way of checking your self worth against the opinions and values of society at large. You start to look at yourself from the outside and judge what you see, which is how the internal voice develops.

The internal voice isn’t really internal at all, rather it is the internalisation of other people’s behaviours towards you. As you start to judge yourself from the outside more and more, your need to silence or hide qualities about you that have caused bad experiences or attracted negative attention grows. [What you need to do to avoid negative thoughts] 

Why does your internal voice say what it says?

Depending on your life experience, your internal voice can be a critic of a number of things. If you’re somebody who struggled with abandonment and getting affection, you might tell yourself that no one will love you. If you’re somebody who was often judged for not being the right height or weight, you might tell yourself you’re not attractive.

It is often that our internal voice adopts a dialogue that criticises us before others can. It acts as a defense mechanism to repeating bad emotional experiences. [How to reset your emotions and change your life] Those who tell themselves they are unlovable never seek relationships or keep distant from people out of fear of being abandoned again. Those who tell themselves they are unattractive dress in boring, shapeless clothing and focus on other areas of their lives to deter attention away from their image.

How do you make your internal voice positive?

Considering your voice isn’t a permanent, innate part of you, you can retrain it to be positive and amplify your happiness just as it was trained to be negative before.

As optimistic as it sounds, taking the time to externally vocalise positive thoughts to yourself everyday, whether looking in a mirror or writing it down in a diary, can teach you to get into the habit of basing your self-esteem not from the outside-looking-in, but the inside-looking-out.

If there are certain aspects of yourself you struggle to love, it can take time to teach yourself to love them. Start practising self-love for other parts of yourself that you already like in the first instance, and silence and hide anything from your life that reminds you of things you don’t like about yourself. This isn’t to avoid facing them altogether, but to give you a chance to learn how to be positive with yourself before tackling more difficult personal issues. If you struggle with these issues and wish to amplify your happiness then join our site for bite sized strategies via expert videos, eBooks and planners on building your confidence and self-esteem.

You need to take back ownership of your inner voice and direct what it says. It might be coming from your thoughts, but its messages are from others. Remember that the only person that can have a say on what you do in life or how you live it is yourself. Don’t use your internal voice to keep yourself in line with others. It’s better to be yourself and have some critics, than not be yourself and have no supporters.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.