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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

How we can determine our own fate


It’s so unfortunate that nothing comes for free, isn’t it? Even winning the lottery requires having a bit of nous to stop the less than sincere sharks circling your new fortune. What you put into this life – the financial, emotional and physical investments – will determine what you get out of it. So why can this sometimes be the hardest thing to understand? How do the difficulties of life convince us that our future isn’t in our hands?

The past, present and future

Our experiences have a habit of causing unpleasant thoughts to fester in our heads. [5 key triggers of anxiety] They trick us into thinking illogically – that things will never get better, that trying something new will end in failure and that certain events and situations will never be in our control. ‘Never’ is a word loaded with power, and to misuse it is to set yourself back. Be careful when you say ‘never’, because there aren’t many things in life that lack a degree of possibility. Anything to an extent is possible. [The sky's the limit]  Life isn’t something that’s going to happen to you, so worrying about what could happen is not better than things never happening at all. You enter a stagnancy and risk never leaving until you take risks. The past is not the future, it merely leads to it. Use your past to create a future, because the future is the one thing you will always have control over, and no-one else will. If you want a promotion, go for it. [3 Reasons you need to set career goals today] If you want to retire early, go for it. If you want to emigrate, go for it. You have to try, or ‘let ‘never’ be your reality.

“There are things far, far better ahead than any we leave behind” – C.S. Lewis

Working with fate

It’s a little delusional to assume that fate is the overarching framework we are dealing with regarding our futures. Whilst some things will happen that you can’t stop, they come as a result of your decisions. Fate is the euphemistic term for the long term effects of your decisions, except you have forgotten about those decisions. Some decisions are false friends; you thought they were insignificant but they weren’t. Your dietary habits is a precursor to the majority of major illnesses, your school attendance and achievements set you on the path to what profession you chose to enter and your family life formed your personality and your social preferences. Everything from the past influences what will happen in the future. Use this as a chance to influence the future in a positive way. As the proverb goes:

The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”

The victim

Playing the victim isn’t endearing. However awful the problems are, they’re happening to someone else too so don’t feel alone with it. Not everyone will be nice to you in life – and they can be horrendous – but note how they normally act to serve themselves. Do the same. Look out for number one and don’t let the hardships you face stop you. It’s okay to be upset but to wallow in the hurt is to not move on from it. Why would you want to hurt over and over when you can find joy elsewhere to ease the pain? If you need some support in building your confidence up then watch our empowering videos or join our supportive community.

Deciding what you become often relies on what you were. Look at how different you are from the past and realise you’ve changed more than you think, and it’s likely for the better. Progress is going to continue to happen, but this time don’t let it happen blindly. Realise your responsibility.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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