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Lessons in Love from Long Term Marriages .


What is the perfect recipe for a long and happy marriage? You will hear a different list of ingredients every time.

Relationships are diverse and require various measurements of communication, sex etc. But sometimes it would be nice to have a little guidance of what we should ensure to include to maintain a healthy love.

So here are a few lessons in love, from the only experts – those who have experienced it in the long term.

Men and women have very, very different brains

Admittedly, sometimes we find it difficult to understand how men just cannot think like us and we can be frequently baffled by how they handle situations. But accepting those differences and anticipating them , makes life a lot easier.

For example, just because you tidy the bathroom when it’s dirty, does NOT mean that your partner will always do the same. This is not to say men do not care as much as we do, their brains are just different to ours. More often than not, time will allow you to the learn the expectations of your partner, so even if it wasn’t a natural thought to clean the bathroom, it’ll become a learnt one.

Keep the little things.

The little ‘our things’ that you used to do during your relationship at the beginning are just as important further on down the line. As everything becomes more hectic around us, just taking small ‘time outs’ to be together, away from kids or the TV is important to maintain the intimacy.

Whether you like doing the gardening together or taking the dog for walks, keeping up those small occasions of quality time can push away the threat of growing distant.

You need action AND words.

Actions speak louder than words, but words are pretty important too. There are unlimited situations where the words you exchange are vital to your relationship. The first is simply by saying ‘I love you’. Because if you’re not saying it, how will they know?

The second is through compliments. A compliment is the easiest way to let somebody know you are appreciative of everything they do. Finally, you need words to communicate, and the importance of that is something we are constantly reminded of.

Tend to your love as you would a plant.

Love is an overwhelming, ever changing but fragile emotion. Often people reach marriage and believe the work they have put into love at the beginning will then last a lifetime. But love needs to be fed and reinforced, and this requires you to be perceptive of the changes it encounters.

If you have started a new job with longer hours, the first thing you should look at is how to accommodate for that in your relationship. One of the key lessons in love is that nipping any potential issues in the bud will stop bigger less amendable problems arising in the future.

Keep the passion alight, always.

Sex in a relationship is what can make us feel attractive, confident, connected, happy… the list continues. All of those crucial feelings you should have in a relationship can be obtained through the act of sex. [Why our culture could be to blame for sexless marriages]

There is new advice from therapists, psychologists or friends every week telling you how much sex you should have, but every relationship is different. If you are able to communicate in other ways, maybe you won’t need to have as much sex as your neighbours next door. But sometimes we can forget what sex means in our relationship, and that having it is a guaranteed way to promote positive feelings in both members of the couple.

These are just some of the most common lessons in love that people learn when they’ve been married for a long time. What has your marriage taught you about love? If you are having relationship problems find some answers in our Video Moods series or make a booking with one of our life coaches from the comfort & privacy of your home.


Photo Credit: Copyright: stockbroker / 123RF Stock Photo

Tags:love, love connection


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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