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Challenge your Mindset

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How to manage self-doubt in relationships


Having self-doubt in a relationship can cause us to behave in a certain way without even realising. It might cause us to be jealous, anxious or scared in our relationships, and this can affect the way we treat our partners and even lead to a problem between us. In order to keep our relationships healthy, we need to be able to manage our self-doubt!

What is self-doubt?

Recognising self-doubt within oneself can be difficult as it manifests itself in the way that we behave. For example, self-doubt might make us believe that we are not good enough [How to feel loved] for our partner. It might make us feel fearful that they will leave us and so we feel paranoid that they might cheat or not feel the same as we do. Fear and paranoia are more identifiable emotions that we all might have felt at some point, but it is important to understand that this stems from our own self-doubt.

Similarly, we might feel self-doubt that we are not very attractive and so we need affirmations from our partner that we are ‘beautiful’ and this can make us engage in attention seeking behaviour [5 Reasons Why You Crave Attention]. Once more, you might notice a need for your partner to praise how you look in order to feel good about yourself, but again, this comes from our self-doubt. Whilst our partner can be an important piece in helping us get over our self-doubt, this is an issue we need to overcome independently.

Steps to managing our self-doubt

The first step to managing our own self-doubt is understanding it. Self-doubt can sometimes be responsible for the negative habits we have in our relationships, so start to pay attention to what drives you to be annoyed at your partner or feel anxiety about them and think about the true reasons that lie behind it.

The second step is addressing it. For example if you think your partner is too successful for you and that it is because of self-doubt that you are not successful, then think about what you can do to challenge that self-doubt. What is it that made you feel that way? Have you had a failure in your life that you can’t get over? Instead of holding onto previous experiences that have caused you to doubt yourself, you need to challenge those doubts by putting yourself into situations that can help re-build your self-worth [31 ways to increase your self-worth].

The third step to managing your self-doubt is to set goals to prove yourself wrong. Give yourself opportunities to prove that you do have worth and the more you overcome your fear and try to beat your self-doubt, then the more likely the chance that it will happen and your confidence will grow.

What this can do for your confidence

Once you begin to grow your confidence and get your self-doubt under control, you will find that you begin to feel more comfortable in your relationship. If you believe in yourself without relying on others, then you won’t be with your partner because you need to be, but because you want to be! Once you start to manage your self-doubt you will realise the big effect it can have on your relationship and how it might have provoked you to do things that tried to satisfy it.

If you are struggling with your self-doubt then head over to our video moods where our brilliant group of experts can help guide your through your issues and help tackle those tougher cases of self-doubt!


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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