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Quarter Life Crisis? Feeling lost in your 20s


The 20s is a weird time in your life. It marks the first tentative steps into adulthood yet the experiences from one person to the next in this time can vary wildly. On the positive side, some people become parents, travel the world, become their own bosses, or get degrees upon degrees. There are also struggles and mistakes to deal with, from bad financial decisions to major breaks in friendships and relationships.

In this open field of adulthood, where you’ve yet to make your mark, or at least choose a path, it’s easy to feel lost. Don’t have a quarter-life crisis: here are some ideas for helping you feel more at ease with being in your 20s.

Find older people who support you

This doesn’t mean getting them to give you a walk-through, but finding more experienced people [Lessons in love from long term marriages] you can trust the advice of and know you can seek help from when you’re at a low ebb. Whilst your parents are always there for you, it’s good to network and meet people from other walks of life – from a boss to a neighbour to a friend. You aren’t a school pupil any more, so people won’t be embarrassed or feel burdened to talk to you. Have the self-confidence to connect with other adults.

Learn the basics

The real world is complicated, from mortgages to taxes to fitting appliances to negotiating deals. It can be intimidating going into a world where many people have sussed out how to look after number one, but remember that they still make mistakes. To make adjusting to adulthood a little easier, keep it simple at first. Learn the basics of independent living, like a bank account, gas and electric suppliers and food budgeting.

Don’t worry about the potentially more complicated set-ups older people have. They might not be a good fit for your life right now and you can always learn about them a bit at a time when they might come as a benefit to you. If you need help with how to manage your basic finances ‘on the go’ then try our interactive budget calendar which will help you to order your life and help to stop you from overspending!

Value every job for what it can give

No-one wants to be stuck in a humdrum job for too long but it’s good to learn to walk before you run. Sometimes there’s great gain in taking the risk and dedicating yourself to a passion or leave work to travel, but not only should the risk be calculated but it also still requires knuckling down to hard work. It’s no good pursuing a passion without any security and there’s no avoiding boring, repetitive administration or practices whilst pursuing it.

Unfortunately, even the most fun parts of life aren’t always fun. Figure out the best options for work that can set you on the right path to getting where you want and stick to it. For example, if you want to pursue a music career, you could always work at a music venue and offer your services to teach music to others. It puts your face out there in the music scene but also keeps you in pocket. Work ethic is important and staying focussed will serve you well as a skill in the future. Value every job, even if only part time on the tills, for what it’s enabling you to do. It’s good to want to move on, but moving on can take time.

People in their 20s are new to adulthood and have slightly unrealistic ideas of what it is to be responsible, mature and independent. What they should know is that they could spend their whole lives trying to figure out what life should be and what it means to them, but they never will. We try and feel in control of our lives and keep up the appearance of being an adult but it’s based on preconceptions.

You can’t figure out what life is until you’ve lived it. It seems terrifying, but once you’ve broken your last connection with the education system and relying on your parents, don’t edge around the pool but dive in.

Life is not about learning what to do, but learning what not to do. That will involve some broken hearts, bad career moves and needing to ask for help in sticky situations, even if you have a semblance of an idea of what you want in a relationship, what kind of career you want and a good grasp on common sense. It’s a confusing life at times, but that is also the beauty of it.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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