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Reasons why you should be forgiving


Forgiveness seems to be one of the most highly valued qualities in people, considered to be the reserve of the most virtuous among us. Forgiveness is celebrated as fulfilling you mentally, spiritually and socially; a go-to reason in explaining why you are such a good person. Exploring deeper than the image of forgiveness, there are proven reasons for why forgiving wrongs done to you is good for you. Unfortunately, these reasons aren’t explained often… until now.

Forgiveness is a matter of the mind

The concept of forgiveness relies on you believing something wrong has been done to you. It is your choice to be offended or hurt by somebody’s actions, no matter how justified your feelings are. When it comes to your well-being, forgiving isn’t about whether you are in the right or in the wrong, but about psychologically managing perceived traumas. Some people view forgiveness as weak, but it affects you more than it affects other people. The removal of negative emotions you have directed towards someone will remove negative emotions from your life in general because they won’t draw on your focus and energy. [15 ways to escape negative energy in your life] You’ll find with forgiveness comes improved concentration, optimism when approaching given tasks and improvement in sleeping and eating well.

Forgiving is final

If you have an issue from the past that badly affected you, whether traumatic or minute in comparison, and you decide to forgive, remember that forgiveness needs to be final. You need to recognise that the main benefit of forgiving is that it enables you to move on from the situation and not let it affect future endeavours. For example, if you go through a break up because your partner cheated on you, forgiving the wrongdoing will make you want to pursue a relationship with another person and not cause the development of trust issues from what happened previously.[Getting over a break up: Don't obsess over your ex] Forgiveness is a way of letting go of traumas before they turn into regrets, which will in turn cause the formation of bad habits and behaviours. Applying the trauma caused to you by one person or other people will not allow you to carry on living your life. You need to separate the situation, learn from it, and move on.

Forgiving for the right reasons

Forgiving isn’t easy on your conscience and it can take a long time for you to fully accept the pain caused to you, but time can heal. Take your time to think about how life would be if you decided to forgive somebody. Would you be worse off? Also, think about the state of mind you’re in now having not forgiven somebody. Do you believe this is just and is punishing them in the way you want? It is most likely not. Forgiveness isn’t about coming out on top – neither that nor vengefulness will help you achieve this. The key to coming out on top is peace of mind.[Methods for feeling calm and peaceful] Forgiveness will cancel the stresses caused by holding onto pain and bring you the peace of mind you deserve and want.

When you next find yourself being wronged, take the proactive route.  It is okay to feel hurt, insulted and disrespected, but wallowing in the pain of these feelings isn’t productive for you or good for your well-being. Look at forgiveness as a pathway to finding peace of mind again.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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