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Stop lying, Start living

Stop-lying

Be honest: you’ve lied before. We all lie; faking a cold out get out of an event, explaining that the tooth fairy only comes on weekends, pretending you didn’t know how you got the dent in your car – there’s a lie for every situation.

Lying can be a moral minefield. Saying everyone who is a liar is a sinner who cannot be trusted wouldn’t necessarily be true in most cases (and would also be slightly outdated in thinking!). Sometimes, deception and dishonesty are useful tools. They help us get things done that need doing and aren’t based on any kind of negative emotion or reason. However, lying can quickly get out of hand. Lies can start to form the basis of our lives, and we continue to weave the web only to trap ourselves in it. At this point, how do you stop lying, and start living honestly?

Why do we lie?

Comfort -

People often lie to be kind. The truth can hurt, and we believe it is better to be nice in all situations. If your honest opinion won’t add to a situation, rather it only serves to hurt someone’s feelings, you lie to navigate away from that negativity.

Denial -

When faced with a tough situation that we feel we cannot handle, we choose to pretend it isn’t happening. We make up appointments and commitments to get away. We insist that we are ‘fine’, when the truth is the opposite. Life becomes based on avoidance and isolation. [How to face up to feelings of denial]

Fear -

Lying is the tool of the sycophant. Not wanting to say the wrong thing or get into trouble for doing something wrong can drive us lie, anxiously wanting to appear agreeable and reliable to the person in question.[Why you don't have to live in fear]

Pride -

We lie when want to create an image of happiness and success as much as possible, and it can lead us into being dishonest. We try and hide any aspect of weakness from others, because we want to paint a perfect picture.

How lying can damage your happiness

We often say the worst form of lying is in betrayal. Someone who cheats or lies to control others is often looked down on far more than the majority who spin white lies. These white lies, however, can be just as damaging. These lies come from good intentions – from wanting to be kind and thoughtful [How to be kinder to yourself]- but you merely hide the more hurtful truth instead of getting rid of it. The more you lie, the more the truth’s magnitude will grow, before it eventually explodes in your face and causes more havoc than it needed to.

How to decide whether you should lie.

In your given situation, think of the truth as an elastic band. It is often true that the earlier you say the truth, the softer the blow. In the case of our analogy. the softer you pull on the elastic band, the less it hurts. The truth hurts less when it isn’t allowed to manifest. The deeper you get into a lie, the further from the truth you get, and the further you stretch your lie, the worse the pain will be when it snaps back. You need to accept that the truth will never go away, but must be handled appropriately [The art of acceptance].

Dishonesty can take up so much valuable time that could be spent productively handling the truth. The energy you can expend on maintaining a lie can really prevent you from living. Think carefully before you lie. The situation it can leave you in in months’, or even years’, time is often not worth it. Make the decision now to stop lying, and start living. For advice on improving your sense of self worth and reducing the lies and denial, join our empowering club with supportive tools to help you today. 

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This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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