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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

That loving feeling has gone – now what?


Many couples come to a point of stasis with relationships. You settle into a comfortable stage and a natural panic sets in. You start asking yourself questions: Is there anywhere left for this relationship to go? Can this relationship give anything more to me? Can I give anything more to this relationship? These questions tend to be a passion killer. Your love for this person – the feeling they give you that sets them apart from others – is starting to wane, or so you think. What should you do when the loving feeling now seems to be gone? Read on.

Where exactly are you in the relationship?

Hitting a rough spot often comes with nearing the end of a stage, and therefore there is a need to make an important choice. Maybe you’ve been offered a job far away from where you live, or a family emergency means you are needed, or you’re coming to a point of progression (moving in together, kids, etc.) At this point, you might be subconsciously battling with indecision and all these big moments will lead to a loss of passion. This is where you need to realise that relationships only last because the people involved decide love comes first. Be patient. Talk with your partner about options and keep in mind what you both want. If you feel you can put love first, you’ll find the loving feeling start to come back as you worry less about the future.

What is your connection between love and sex?

Contrary to popular belief, romantic relationships and sex can coexist or exist separately, but most often they tend to go hand in hand. Think very carefully if you and your partner are compatible sexually, because intimacy and attraction matter. The issue of repairing a relationship comes down to detachment. If you constantly think about how much your dissipating feelings for your partner are affecting you, you will detach further and further. [Does 'the one' really exist] Sometimes we slip into the selfish state of mind by accident – life gets in the way and we start to think practically and rationally, and forget that passion and romance exist. Sex can’t be a currency or a moment’s satisfaction in a relationship; it has to form part of a bigger picture. You’re not going to get that loving feeling back if you’re too proud to want to. A good way to encourage intimacy is honesty, the least physical way of achieving it. Both admit to things you’ve done that haven’t helped the relationship and you’ll both feel more connected and want to be with each other. Understanding can be sexy.

Love goes beyond the first exciting emotions and keeping a relationship together will always require work, but don’t neglect it.[The reality of a married sex life]  Other commitments and priorities will always be on your mind, but to not work on your relationship will ultimately lead to you leaving it behind. It’s going to hurt either way, so make sure you make the right choice. In the end, know that you can eventually find happiness if you commit yourself to wanting it.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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