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Challenge your Mindset

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The 3 things we did that helped us start over.


When life doesn’t go to plan, it can go three ways. The first is just a stumble, an honest mistake that can be taken care of easy. The second is a serious obstacle you need to build the reserve and experience to overcome, however long that may take. The third, unfortunately, is the almighty fall. A bad decision can bring things crashing down. It’s life, it’s unfair, but it won’t stop for you. It’s hard to emotionally recover from such a failure, especially if it’s had a serious impact on your lifestyle and wellbeing, but pride and pity will keep you down. Remember, you have fallen into a deep pit, not an abyss. You can climb out and start over with these three pieces of advice – advocated by real-life women we consulted.

  1. Be radical

Sometimes, being cautious is not the way. We become so overcome with the false sense of control elicited by being perfectionists that we don’t change quickly enough. If you spend your time researching tips and tricks for making your plans work, you’re probably not motivated enough to actually do what is required of you. The delaying tactics could be borne out of fear and uncertainty, and they’re only going to make you more miserable as you find yourself getting nowhere fast. [Why you don't need to live in fear] You’re already back on the bottom rung, and prolonging your time there isn’t good for you, so where do you go from there? The method is in the madness sometimes, not the method. Just do it. There are consequences for everything you do in life, including opting for what you believe the safe and secure choices are. The truth is even the most sensible courses of action can have disastrous outcomes. Nothing is ensured in life. It can be scary to do something radical, to make such a drastic change in your life, but use the terror to motivate you to succeed. You will never know until you try.

  1. Ignore everyone

A lot of people like to judge others, especially those who have failed. It’s a wonder that they do this, since everyone is susceptible to failure to a degree. [Why does failure come before success?] They like to remind you of what you did wrong, and furthermore will make you cautious of trying to get things right. Their judgements are unhelpful, destructive and often incorrect. A person’s opinion is as valuable as you allow it to be. They might provide some great points for you to consider that you didn’t think of before, but they are there to consider only. They aren’t reasons to not start over, because if anything, you should be trying to start over regardless. This is your life and you need to accept that it won’t go perfectly every time, but it goes on. You’ve learnt a harsh lesson from previous mistakes, but lessons are for the purpose of helping you move forward. Once you’ve realised this, then you’ll understand that other people need to realise this about themselves and you too. You can’t live your life how others have, and others can’t expect that of you. Society would cease to function if this was the case. Sometimes the best way to get on best with others is to ignore them.

  1. Find happiness

You will be more motivated to start over if you get into a cycle of positive thinking. [Positive thinking- does it work?] Think of all the achievements you have accomplished thus far, think of all the things in your favour in the present, and think about all the potential benefits waiting in the future if you start over now. Good cannot exist without bad, but this works vice versa. Realism is not the same as pessimism. You need to be aware of what could go wrong, but focus on those possibilities too much and you’ll never get started. They are still only possibilities, not realities. Reality is what you have to work with. If you are unhappy, there isn’t a lot that can console you. Do not waste the precious time you have alive on things that don’t make you happy. Aim to be in a happy place and obtain the things that would make you happy. You’ll find success comes more naturally the better the mood you are in. Download our daily confidence and happiness planner here to boost your chances of feeling good everyday.

Starting over requires revaluation. Some things may have now become unattainable, or you may now better understand your incapability for certain things. Once you’ve amended your goals, it’s time to carry on. As long as you’re still alive, you have another chance at living. You have to give yourself the chance.

For more expert advice and strategies on building resilience and confidence in life, love and work, join now and visit our Video Moods section.


Photo Credit: Copyright: imagelight / 123RF Stock Photo

Tags:failure, stuck, trapped


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.