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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

The main reasons why we feel sad.

sad

Positivity can be hard to come by, even when we try really hard to adopt the mind-set. Optimism and self-belief are important, but sadness is something you can’t avoid. Digging deeper into triggers for sadness, you can root out some unhelpful habits and behaviours which can make sadness easier to handle when it comes.

Long childhood

Humans as a species have the longest development phase. Our childhood is split into many stages, and in this modern life, extends beyond actual biological childhood. We become dependent adults, our psychology revolving around being catered for with no built-up resilience to the harsher parts of life. When we then get exposed to them, a sadness develops. We are learning the ways of the world for the first time and it can be shocking. Moving forward comes from realising these things will always happen. It’s not about being a victim, but a survivor. When something gets in your way and makes you sad, it’s about how you handle it that counts.

Unrealistic goals

Positivity is useful until we dream too much. We set such incredible goals that our imagination latches onto and creates a comfort zone around, a zone we are in danger of never leaving. When we feel unfulfilled, like we’re constantly reaching for the unreachable, we become disenchanted, jaded and sad. Sadness is attracted to romanticised notions and lack of realism, because it’s easy to find it there when nothing works out. Life isn’t perfect, and perfection isn’t real. Satisfaction comes from making your best efforts, surpassing your perceived limits and getting somewhere, even if it isn’t the pinnacle. You won’t necessarily be at a place in life that you imagined 5, 10 or 25 years ago. Embrace the present. [Mindfulness: The benefits of living a mindful life]

The things we care about

You’re only sad when it involved things that matter to you, or at least remind you of the things that matter to you. Any event in your past which traumatised you with immense sadness will repeat on you in less intense situations, such as when you first deal with a death in the family. Sadness in this case doesn’t have to be negative. It’s part of life experience and leads to the development of empathy. [Why empathy is a top business skill] Use your sadness to help others and offer support, and remember that the emotion only means you’re a caring person. Share your feelings with like minded people in our community.

Lack of emotional outlet

Sadness when mismanaged leads to depression. When sadness is triggered within you, you need an outlet, whether that’s a person, a task, a hobby or a coping mechanism you’ve developed yourself. The reason we cry in itself is an outlet. It’s a natural request for support from those we are closest to, so don’t deny what your body says you need. [How to face up to feelings of denial] The more your discomfort with something builds, the more it affects your psychology. Sadness is a primary emotion, but it can develop into self-doubt, helplessness and general emptiness. Don’t let it get this far. Seek medical help immediately, even if it isn’t as serious as it could be.

Sadness is caused by us and how we choose to react to certain situations. It is based on a mind-set and it’s up to you to decide what that mind-set is. Positivity is needed, but everything has an equal and opposite. Negativity will be undeniable, so make sure you are equipped to combat it. For some immediate tips on how to build resilience to stress and overwhelming thoughts visit our Video Moods series.

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Photo Credit: Copyright: BDS / 123RF Stock Photo

Tags:down, fed up, low, sad, upset

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This article was contributed by Pink Moods.