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Challenge your Mindset

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The one method for managing mind games at work

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The world isn’t always a happy-go-lucky place, where we all work to bring each other up and support each other’s goals. The problem is that not enough people’s definitions of success are personal. There’s still a lot of pointless comparisons and jealousy that can affect us in work and life at large. In the midst of this jealousy and need to compete to stay on top, people may start to play mind games. They see friendship, teamwork and leadership as ways to control people or pit people against each other. It’s not easy to see past the particularly good players, who have mastered deceit and charm, but there is a blanket way to avoid mind games at work.

The Narcissist

Mind games are the work of the narcissist. They play to win, even if the win is worthless. The idea of treating personal relationships as games links to self-image and arrogance. Narcissists like the idea of being desired and needed, and making people dependent on them by controlling their views feeds into their sense of self.  Instead of being fulfilled by helping others, they are fulfilled by themselves and their achievements. [10 reasons why you should always be your unique self]

How to beat the narcissist

You beat them at the game by not joining in. There’s no game to play if there’s only one player. Don’t drop to their level and view work as a competition. Beating them at their own game is false in logic; there’s no leaderboard or points system. They invented the game and can change the rules at any time, so they win as soon as anyone enters it. By becoming embroiled in the game, you get sucked into their perspective and views on life. They can start to affect your own, making you a narcissist.

What to do instead of engaging with mind games

People who play mind games prey on insecurity, and try to control what you think about other people. The best way to not engage with mind games is to focus on yourself and only trust your own judgements. Instead of focussing on what game players are saying, focus on what they are doing. You’ll see that they are being unproductive and two-faced, regardless of what they are talking about. Set personal goals in your career and progression at work, and do not base them on anyone else. More importantly, don’t judge others in your team by what other people say.

It’s annoying when somebody tries to disrupt team spirit by playing mind games at work. Such tactics can cause rifts and damage productivity, so the person can benefit from other people’s downfalls. Don’t let others interfere with your thoughts and beliefs about the work place and your colleagues. What you see and experience is what you can trust. For bite sized advice on interpersonal communication skills at work visit our Video Moods series

 

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This article was contributed by Pink Moods.