This article was contributed by Pink Moods.
How are you feeling?
Humiliation, manipulation, criticism, intimidation, threats… These are only a few signs of
emotional abuse. If you’re reading this article, chances are you have recognized some of
them and realized you’re in an abusive relationship, perhaps with your partner, a parent, a
sibling or a friend. Though emotional abuse doesn’t leave any physical wounds, it does leave
mental scars that can cause a lot of grief and sorrow.
Emotional abusive behavior happens when anything is said or done to hurt the feelings of
another person intentionally. In an emotionally abusive relationship, one party continuously
undermines the other’s confidence, worthiness or emotional stability. They also provoke fear
or shame in order to manipulate.
Being in this sort of relationship can affect your self-esteem and your mental health to the
point in which the other person literally controls your mind. You start believing everything
they say about you and begin justifying their abuse. This can go on for a very long time
without the victim even realizing they’re being abused.
Perhaps you’ve come to realize that enough is enough and it’s time to move on. This is a
very brave step to take, and even though this is a highly damaging situation, there are some
ways to overcome emotional abuse successfully.
When you’ve been in an emotionally abusive relationship for a long time you may have tried
to ignore or deny the signs of abuse. You may have even begun to think that it’s all in your
mind or that you deserve to be treated this way. After you have acknowledged these signs,
the first step towards moving on is understanding that you are not, in any way, at fault. It is
the abuser who has the problem; often they may have some sort of inferiority complex and
they try to cope with it by making others feel bad.
Once you realize there’s nothing wrong with you, it will be easier to look at the situation
objectively and begin your healing process.
If you’ve just come out of an abusive relationship or have decided to end one, your self-
esteem may be highly damaged from the constant abuse it probably suffered, so, though it
may be hard at first, it is essential in the process of overcoming abuse to regain your sense
of self-worth. You need to recognize that you are valuable, strong and independent in order
to take back control of your life.
Practicing mindful meditation can help you gain some of your confidence back, since it is an
effective way to reconnect with yourself and get back the sense of who you are and who you
want to be, and it will help you prevent that any negative emotions get the best of you.
Surrounding yourself with people who value and celebrate you is also a fundamental part of
rebuilding your self-esteem, which leads us to the next tip.
Reaching out to family and friends, and building a network of emotional support among them
is one of the best ways to overcome abuse.
Research has shown that maintaining healthy social connections can improve your overall
health. Talking to loved ones about your experience and your feelings can make you feel
lighter, like a terrible weight has been taken off your shoulders. They can provide you with
comfort and advice, and by interacting with them you can gain a better perspective on what
a healthy relationship should be like.
There’s no shame in asking for help. When you have suffered emotional abuse that has had
deep effects on you, it is important to find a professional that can help you cope. Seeing a
therapist can help you deal with effects such as depression, anxiety, anger, post-traumatic
stress, among others. You can also try a counselor or coach who can provide guidance in
moving on and work through the challenging emotions you may experience.
Healing from an emotional trauma is a long process and having a professional to help you
through it can make it a lot easier.
Nothing good comes from dwelling in the past and lamenting over what happened to you.
The best thing to do when coming out of a mentally abusive relationship is to accept that it
happened, and that now that it’s over it’s time to get on the road to recovering your mental
health. Recognize that you have no control whatsoever over the past, but you do have
control over your future and only you get to decide what becomes of you from now on.
You should see your past as a lesson, looking back at it only to remember what you no
longer want in your life.
An important part of letting go is forgiving. Forgiving your abuser doesn’t mean excusing the
abuse or denying it. It is an important part of healing both mentally and spiritually, since
hatred and resentment are emotions that can continue affecting you long after the abuse
stops, thus not letting you move on. You also need to forgive yourself for letting it happen
and understand that it wasn’t your fault.
Remember that a relationship of any type should celebrate who you are and never put you
down. Relationships should always support your growth, not diminish it. You’re the only
person that has control over your life and now you’re on the road to a better and brighter
Have you been abused emotionally? If you have any comments or suggestions please leave
a comment below.
Photo Credit: Copyright: ocusfocus / 123RF Stock Photo
This article was contributed by Pink Moods.