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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

What can you do when you feel miserable?


Misery is a special sort of sadness. Not quite depression, misery is a deep dissatisfaction with life. You feel stuck in a rut of unexciting event after unexciting event, unable to find any joy in your day to day life. Sometimes, we get tired, fed up, and fall into this emotional black hole, so what can you do when you feel miserable?

Surround yourself with the people you love

The worst enemy to happiness is loneliness [15 things to remember when you are feeling alone], when combined with misery. Being alone gives you the space to think deeper and prolong your miserable attitude, whereas kind words, tough love and general company don’t give you such a space. Whether it’s a phone-call, message or going to visit for a weekend, make contact with friends or family who will preoccupy you and bring you back to balance.

Make a to-do list

Nothing combats feeling miserable like accomplishing something. Misery loves to make you feel worthless, lethargic and bored, as though you don’t have the energy to do anything productive. By making a list of all the things to do today and putting complete focus on them (Organise Me) you are giving a sense of purpose to the day. By having an account for the day, it’s hard to feel miserable. To add more power to the to-do list, include a task that breaks up your routine, like exercise, shopping for a holiday or applying for a course or job that interests you. Pushing through the barrier of fear is always exciting.

Stop the comparisons

Nobody would be happy if they constantly compared themselves to the attributes of others. You’d always find someone better than you for every aspect, and that is a miserable existence to live. There’s two golden rules to comparison you should remember:
1) No one person will be better than you altogether, it is ALWAYS only certain things. Don’t combine the good attributes of many people and compare them to the attributes of only yourself. That’s not a fair deal.
2) There are always people who won’t be as good as you at certain things, and that can go for any attribute. That doesn’t make them lesser than you: These rules apply to them too, remember.
Once you start to celebrate the diversity of your person, and of people in general, the need to compare soon fades away.

Dress in happiness

A confident image can help you feel better whilst convincing people there wasn’t a problem in the first place. Feeling miserable can be consuming. We start to surround ourselves in our misery, talking less enthusiastically, never doing anything fun. The flirty outfits and make up drawer goes untouched.

Pamper yourself, treat yourself kindly [5 ways to be kinder to yourself] and put on the pretence of being happy, because eventually it will stop being a pretence. Misery ends when you start loving yourself.

Avoid conflict

Misery makes us want to lash out [Popular Techniques for Anger Management]. We want to place blame with some sort of source we can identify and name, normally a person. In truth our emotions are causing us to react negatively to others, they are not causing our negative emotions. You can choose how you handle interactions. If your first reaction is negative, leave it for a moment then be calm in what you say. Picking fights is not productive, it just increases your reasons to be miserable.

Be grateful

Miserable people like to complain and tend to wallow in self-pity. Their concern is themselves and themselves only.

Get out of your own head. Offer help to someone you know needs it. It’s better to be a positive change to someone’s world than be helpless and static to the bad things apparently happening in yours. Instead of finding the bad, celebrate the good. You can create good and you can see good if you want to.

Being miserable is not the way to go about life. The good comes with the bad, so don’t neglect it. When things become too boring, uninspiring or stressful, take a break from your emotions. Distract yourself with a break from the routine and find productivity in other sources. Misery doesn’t last forever unless you let it.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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