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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

What does your dating style say about you?


We can become different people when it comes to matters of the heart. There’s something about love – the initial spark of attraction, the heady haze of romance and the growing strength of a commitment – that can change us profoundly. For some, the promise of love can make them become a better person. For others, the idea of love can make them behave quite strangely. Dating can be annoying, complicated and frustrating, but as the first step towards love, it’s important to get your state of mind and attitude right. The problem is, we don’t always get that right first time. Here are four common dating styles that you may recognise, and what they say about you or somebody you know:

The Obsessive

Will they call? Should you call? Do they really like you? Is there a future between you? You’re overthinking every move that’s made, brimming with anxiety. Love, in this sense, never seems to get past the nervous infatuation phase. You second-guess, Facebook-stalk, and fill with dread if pictures of them with someone attractive and of a similar age. You hate being on the dating scene, as you never feel in control. Because of your dating personality, you’d much rather stay single out of fear.

What you need to do -

You need to recognise that you can be in complete control if you act rationally. Don’t react on first instinct. Gut feelings are good for the calm amongst us, but they just play havoc with your emotions. Live in the present moment and take your budding relationships one step at a time, because that is all you have control over.

The Chaser

When you fall in love, you fall hard. You feel so strongly that you’ve found The One, so you don’t allow yourself to think about anybody else or contemplate that there could be someone else. Lovesickness is an illness you tend to come down with, idealising and imagining situations with this person, even if you’re not actually in a relationship with them! Casual isn’t your style.

What you need to do -

Never lose that optimism! It’s important to believe that you can be with someone for the long haul, because that is what it takes to make it in the first place. However, you need to focus on reality, also. Don’t let love distract you from everything else you have in your life. Try and keep a balance between love, family, friends, work and, most important of all, yourself.

The Racer

You’re a ticking time-bomb when it comes to relationships. The desperation to be with somebody starts imaginary countdowns. The need to settle down, have kids and the plethora of other, standard relationship experiences has formed a checklist that you want to cover in ticks. You’re someone who plans ahead and thinks steadfastly of your future, as you’re self-conscious of leaving things too late.

What you need to do -

It’s more likely than not that you don’t enjoy your own company. You potentially have low self-esteem, which ignites a need in you to build a life with somebody to give it meaning to prove to yourself and others than you’re doing it right. [31 ways to increase your self-worth] The path to love, however, isn’t linear. Things don’t always happen in an order, because love is about the emotions more than the photo opportunities. Rid of this notion of what a relationship should look like, and start thinking about what a relationship should feel like.

The Player

You thrive on risk and are excited by the danger. You have a devil on your shoulder that makes you push acceptable boundaries. Casual and open is perfect for you. You’re not good at commitment and fail to see signs of what a good partner would be for you. You’re not very intuitive of other people’s feelings, as long-term love is not a reality you consider.

What you need to do -

Playing the field isn’t necessarily wrong. Sometimes casual dating is what you need, but to do it properly, you need to be considerate of other people’s needs. Self-gratification is fun and empowering, but you can still reach those highs without hurting and disrespecting others. Don’t give into temptation if you know the consequences could be messy after.

If you recognise yourself in some of these four dating styles, you shouldn’t consider it embarrassing or negative in any way. The key message here is that you need to see if you are wanting to date somebody for the right reason or to fulfil an unmet need in yourself. Ensure you know who you are, like who you are and feel secure in what you have to offer. When you fully practice a healthy self-love, then your dating style isn’t something to worry about. For dating tips and confidence boosting tools join our empowering club today.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.