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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

Why avoidance is causing you strife.

avoidance

All of us come across situations that we don’t want to face, and we are all guilty of avoiding them whether temporarily or permanently. Sometimes avoidance can be innocent, like a chore you don’t feel like doing that day or a person on public transport you don’t feel like talking too. However, avoidance can also be harmful, whether it’s something abstract like a memory or a feeling, or tangible like a debt or family member. Here is a list of things you cannot really avoid forever, or risk causing yourself further strife.

Debts

Debts are unforgiving the longer they are avoided. It is often because we are ashamed of owing money or favours that we ultimately avoid paying them back. For some, it can feel like the end of the world if they cannot afford certain luxuries, only for the doom to truly set in when overspending leaves them unable to afford the basics. It’s important not to panic as much as it is to not avoid debt. [A strategy for coping with a  mind of worry] Managing your finances and assets is lot simpler than you think if you adapt the right mindset. Try to frame your current situation within the scale of a longer period than just the present day. It could be weeks, months or even years. There is always a way to tackle debt even if the process is lengthy. It also helps to be truly honest about debt, as you will more likely be allowed to spread out repayments than if you lied about them. 

Relationships

When a relationship is strained, pride can lead to further strain. By avoiding the person in particular or refusing to confront what happened between you, the more resentment can build. As much as you try to ignore the break down of the relationship, you often bear the weight of it on your mind. You need to talk this through and admit your mistakes. Create an environment of reciprocity, maybe even introducing a third party to orchestrate, so a fair agreement on your relationship can be made, before your avoidance of the problem starts to affect other people. Relationship break downs can be cancerous, spreading to other relationships you have, be it your children or friends.

Past Events & Traumas

Avoiding trauma is never really a true avoidance. Trauma can’t be circumvented, rather redirected into another behaviour or expression of emotion. Your need to avoid remembering a past event stems from a fear of a certain emotion or reaction. You are simply in denial [How to face up to feelings of denial] Embrace that emotions are outlets – if expressed they can set you free. Holding in emotions can change you as a person, making you inhibited and too scared to pursue avenues in your life that could be incredibly prosperous.

Procrastination

Procrastination can often be explained away, but eventually it catches up with you. Investing in a task straightaway assures that you can deal with spontaneous or sudden events. Your laziness might stem from an ability to ‘wing it’ – to be able to navigate difficult tasks with sheer ability – but this laziness can start to spread into other areas of your life if you aren’t careful. It isn’t a state of mind that can be suddenly switched off. Keep a varied schedule and stay aware of your future self. Taking care of things straightaway is ultimately taking care of yourself.

Avoiding issues for too long a period can potentially set you back years of your life trying to correct the damage. Avoidance to face up to problems only means they will never be solved. Others become impatient and give up on you. Become a go-getter and tackle problems as soon as they arise, because the more time passes, the greater problems grow when they don’t need to.

 

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This article was contributed by Pink Moods.