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Why disagreements are good for relationships


Disagreements are present in all relationships at one time or another. Continual disagreements may be a sign that the relationship isn’t working, but occasional ones are bound to happen from time-to-time, as everyone is different. The first disagreement with a new partner can scare many people into playing passive to keep up the honeymoon period, however eventually one will come up and understanding that it is healthy for the relationship will help you to manage it in a much more productive way. This is why disagreements are good for relationships.

Being honest

In the early stages of relationships, changing your views to align with the others persons in order to continue that ‘honeymoon dream’ can seem like a small price to pay for the perfect relationship. Little white lies about liking prawns or our love of exercise are forgivable, but if you push all of your beliefs, hopes and opinions to one side to try and please the other person then you have a longer term recipe for disaster. Whilst pushing thoughts under the carpet may work as a temporary blockage of disagreements, the truth will find its way of coming to haunt you in the future.

Imagine a year down the line, you are very settled and you begin to look outwardly on other parts of your life you want to develop, you follow what you have always wanted and act on the principles you believe in, but they do not align with what you originally projected to your partner. Starting a relationship with a lack of honesty will make your true aspirations or values come as a surprise to your other half as this was not the ‘self’ you presented to him, so this ultimately causes friction. It could be that you agreed you didn’t mind distance, but actually it eats away at you. In the end this will be something that ends up punishing you continually throughout the relationship, when being honest about your views might not have been a problem at all. To gather some tips on what a healthy relationship looks like visit our Video Moods series.

Being ourselves

The stubbornness, the compassion, the positivity, whatever components make up our personality are naturally our own and that’s why in a relationship its important to be genuine in showing that. [10 reasons to always be your unique self] There is such a thing as coming on too strong, but being yourself does not have to be that. When you first meet someone, you can reveal your character bit by bit when appropriate, but don’t fabricate it. Claiming to be calm and laid back when actually you’re prone to anxiety will only gear your partner up to treat you insensitively because they believe they are acting in a way that will not hurt you. Once again you find yourself in a cycle of resentment and tension because your partner is catering to the wrong needs. So even if they had the best intentions, they would never be able to make you happy. So revealing your true personality for the sake of being honest might cause a few teething pains to begin with, but it will guarantee that it will be a stronger relationship in the future. To discover more about what makes you tick and what will satisfy you in a relationship visit our Self Discovery section and download our reflective workbooks.

Being independent

It can be easy to fall into comfort and rely on your partner, but retaining your independence is an important part of a successful relationship. You need to make your own decisions and yes, they may conflict with your partner’s views sometimes but if you constantly relied on their nod of approval on everything you did you might not be able to have the same experiences that you would of had you been independent. This comes from the ability to be able to stand on your own feet and achieve your goals without the dependence on your partner to get you there. An independent woman is an attractive woman, and although it may cause a disagreement here and there, in the long run your positions in the relationship will be more clearly defined. For more relationship guidance book in for a one to one Skype call with one of our expert relationship coaches.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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