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Challenge your Mindset

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How are you feeling?

Why does failure come before success?


How many times have you succeeded on the first try? Unless you seem to be incredibly lucky at arcade games, raffles and multiple choice quizzes, the chances are not often. Nobody masters a skill or reaches their goal without having to overcome some problems.

Never a failure, always a lesson

We can learn lessons everyday if we want to – there’s always something to improve, add to, or even give up on, in order to succeed more. Those successes might not even be tangible or quantifiable. They aren’t always trophies or cash prizes, but little victories like staying happy all day [How to feel happier today] or finishing a task at work quicker than the week before. With little victories come little failures, but because failure has such negative connotations, we refrain from using that word.

In truth, it’s a natural, essential part of life.

When failure is good

We experience failure more frequently than we like to think, so why don’t we get upset by every single one? Failure isn’t biased towards one person or another. It just happens. In that sense, you will sometimes be thankful for failures. Look back on your life, and think how grateful you are now that some things didn’t work out. Maybe it’s an old boyfriend who ended up being unfaithful, an abandoned business plan that would have sunk with the recession or a diagnosis which means you can now stay healthy. Failures help us to move forward, they don’t always hold us back.

The euphoria fading

The old saying goes that you feel at your dumbest when you are succeeding. After reaching a pinnacle, comes the desire to recapture and hold onto the feeling, never wanting to let it go because you feel so fulfilled and accomplished. It’s a problem often facing those in the entertainment and sports industries. You have your year, then it’s someone else’s turn – and the psychological effects can be damning. Sometimes you can climb back to the top, sometimes you can’t, but it comes down to how you view failure and what you consider to be a failure. Sometimes failure is out of your hands, despite your best efforts, and you must try to seek the positives from not always reaching the peak you’re used to. Mental toughness is borne from having to fight for what was once yours.

Bouncing back

Hitting rock bottom feels finite, but it often comes from internal pressure you put on yourself for not replicating successes you’ve seen. We’re most likely to remember superlatives – only the most impressive of successes. If we don’t succeed as quickly or as smoothly as others, they weigh down on our self-esteem [Low self esteem: Stop putting yourself down], until we believe we’ll never succeed. If you find yourself failing, remember it doesn’t have to be the end. Life goes on. Some of the biggest magnates in the world dropped out of school. Some of the most admired actors had to work umpteen dead end jobs before getting their big break. Everyone’s success looks different to others.

Remember that anything worth having requires hard work. Nobody gets anything for free and complaining about something not going to plan only delays you from making it work on the second time, third time, or however many times it may take. Failure feels like hell, but as the phrase goes, if you’re going through hell, keep going. If you want support in getting past failures then speak to one of our coaches or, if it is work, read one of our eBooks on how to find a job you will really love. Often things don’t work because they are not right for us and we can learn from it. Enjoy the journey!


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.