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Challenge your Mindset

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Why you should live an imperfect life

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Life is complex, hard and demanding, so why do we place our energies and emphasis on perfection when we could be joyous leading an imperfect life?

In the last few years I have experienced a number of big life events, according to The Holmes and Rahe stress scale  I can tick off around 3/4 of the list. This apparently means that I have over an 80 percent chance of becoming ill in the near future. (My result was also almost treble the highest score). From this I can assume that stress is (Or should be) problematic in my life.  However, recently I discovered that the issues in my life were not what caused me the greatest distress, most of the time it has been the thoughts of others that have concerned me more.

All of my life I have been trying to do the right thing. I thought I had to get a degree, so I joined a course. I thought I had to be married by 25, so I was up the aisle moments into my 25th year. I felt that I must be carving out a good position in my career by 30 so I tried that. The next involved the prospect of children, so was more out of my control, but all along it was me doing what was ‘the right’ thing to do. All of these points represented a measure of failure or success for me and as a result put a great deal of demands on me too.

I have come to realise that the things that caused me stress, are not the things actually listed on the stress scale, in itself the list suggests and recognises change from our ‘perfect’ path as disappointments so therefore perhaps failures if we deviate. Facebook and other channels exasperates the situation when you are trying to live to insane ideals, and now I realise that is all it is, an ideal. By letting go of ideals I realised I am living life for me and not for someone else. Not for others opinions, validations or accusations. This means I am not living my life according to rules, or concepts, but instead I live my life for its reality and the moment I am in, which is clearly a healthy thing to do.

The process of acceptance is more than liberating, it makes you become more of who you are naturally without restriction.  I don’t want to be trying to be something that I am not, nor to attempt to live someone else’s life, I want to lead my life, so what that means is really taking hold of each situation as it naturally happens and making the most of it. So instead of looking at the stress scale and feeling weigh-laid, I decided to look at the stress scale and feel accomplished. If  I am managing all of those things, well then why does it matter what anyone else thinks? In fact the worry of what others think is what perfection is all about.  So letting go of others in this context means I am taking away the word ‘perfect’, but in fact this imperfection (which really means being me and leading my life as I am leading it)  is actually very empowering. There is no need to try and live up to anything, because what I am doing has no external measure or benchmark so it is always good enough.

So being imperfect is the only way to allow stress to not surmount into a health issue,  because stress is where we feel trapped or overwhelmed and consumed by an issue and we feel, therefore out of control, so we feel helpless. The only way to manage our stress is to redefine what happiness is for just ourselves and hope can then be in any form we want it to. It might mean changing what we thought was a perfect life into this new and different life, which can also be exciting depending how we look at it.

So resist conforming and embrace the beautiful ‘imperfect’ chaos of being yourself!

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Photo Credit: Copyright: actionsports / 123RF Stock Photo

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This article was contributed by Pink Moods.

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