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Challenge your Mindset

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Why your mind reading is telling you lies


One of the main side effects of low-self esteem is ‘mind reading’. When you are on edge about the way people perceive you and act self-conscious, you resort to second-guessing other people’s opinions and shrinking at the slightest suggestion of something negative. Living in fear of other people’s thoughts is uncomfortable, limiting and can be symptomatic of depression and anxiety. The saddest part to it all is that not only are you paying too much heed to what other people think, you’re also probably wrong. You should never assume what others think about you for your own well being. Here are some further ruminations on why your mind reading is telling you lies.

You are your doubts and fears

When we are anxious about other people’s opinions, it stems from anxiety about our own opinions. The most common case is when you are trying something new – a recipe, an outfit, a hobby – and aren’t completely sure if you’re happy with it. All the doubts and fears take over, looking to be confirmed by somebody else so they are justified. Your inner negative voice can be pushy, and will project your insecurities onto others, assuming that they agree. [How to stop the inner critic and make friends with the inner coach] You need to learn to recognise when you are doing this and remember that the way you think is different to how others think. People can see when you become nervous and self-conscious, and will have more of an issue with that – hoping that you are okay – than what you are nervous or self-conscious about in the first place.

You are not in their heads

Being self-conscious is a selfish emotion, despite stemming from a low self-esteem rather than arrogance. The idea that you can actually mind-read is of course improbable, yet we still do it, because we are so self-absorbed. There is no way you are able to understand what is going on in someone else’s mind unless they explicitly tell you, and even then, their opinions aren’t any of your business.

People form opinions for their own purposes – to build their interests, to make good decisions – and not for others. Often when people share opinions, it is because they want to be productive and believe their opinion can help. The minority of people who share opinions in order to put people down aren’t to be given any attention. You shouldn’t believe the opinion of someone who wants to make you feel bad – they might only hold it for that exact purpose. For expert videos & tools on how to improve your confidence join today.

Be mindful of your own behaviours

When you break down your mental activity for the day, how much time do you actually spend judging others, and do you feel any great emotion when you do? Think about how often you genuinely think something negative about someone and whether you’d tell them. The vast majority of people find that they don’t do it as often as they think, and if they do, it is only for a fleeting moment. People are often more concerned with themselves and the people they care about to be as concerned about something superficial or uneventful to their lives. Apply this notion to your life every time you think someone is staring at you or unimpressed with you.

Trying to mind read is only going to pick further and further away at your self confidence. [How to realise your own self worth] The more you try to be telepathic, the more self-conscious you become. It’s not a behaviour that ever rewards you or helps you. Make the commitment to investing in your own opinions and ideas before considering others, and you’ll eventually come to a healthier state of mind. Join our empowering community for support with your confidence today.


This article was contributed by Pink Moods.